Apart

I sit alone while she runs through my head.

Shes all drugged up in a hospital bed.

I sit alone and man I freaking miss her.

Is it bad if every moment I just want to kiss her?

A thought runs through my head like a dart.

Its just that I've come to realize that she holds my heart.

Every moment we spend together burns itself into my brain

Its like when you try to wash out that one stain,

but it never comes out.

But what if I like that stain?

What if my heart wasn't just playing some stupid game?

What if 

I love her.........

I think I do.

I hope she knows I do.

Open Mic

Cologne stained walls and Perfume covered halls,

High school.

Make up days and tardies,

NC's and my parents........Oh geez.

High school.

Worthless lunch rooms and over crowded class rooms.

Janitors that never seem to let go of their brooms,

High school.

1 in the morning study nights,

followed by 6:30 alarm fights.

Some of us call ourselves athletes.

Weather your catching a ball or kicking it or running around in a circle because tracks a sport.

It all ads up to countless hours of your coaches calling you trashy, because they were better then you when they were your age.

They say the sage is the new best thing,

 but if you ask me as long as there's A, B, C and D everyone can pass the stupid thing.

Sometimes it rains, and pain and heartbreak drip through the ceiling onto the floor and all we can do is wade through it while the tardy bell rings.

And each day we go through the same doors hoping that somehow Monday never comes and Friday never ends.

High school.

Romances that never last,

 and teachers that think we only have one class.

But what does it matter if high school doesn't last.

I Remember.

I remember a time when I didn't care about how I looked going to school.
I remember a time when I thought I could be the best writer in a junior and senior filled class.
I remember a time when getting less than 10 hours of sleep was impossible.
I remember a time when I was mad at my cousins because their bed time was later than mine.
I remember a time when everyone was friends with everyone in the class (except that weird kid that always picked his nose)
I remember a time when 5 minutes of homework felt like 5 hours.
I remember a time when I was supposed to turn in this blog post and forgot.
I remember a time when I was sent out to the hall for telling a "your moma joke"
I remember a time when I thought Canada was England.
I remember a time when I hid in the back of my cousins car so I wouldn't have to go home and, they drove me all over the place without them finding me.
I remember when texting became a big thing and how stupid it seemed that you wouldn't just call them.
I remember a time when I thought I could learn another language. Nope.
I remember a time when I liked school. 
I remember.

Look Up

I look up to the sky. The outside world, and to space where the sun shines and the stars hide I

Look up.

I look up because I have been taught to never look down

the earth below my feet constantly pulling me down but, 

I look up.

I feel the strain on my neck my heavy body always wanting to fall and never get up but,

I look up.

I feel the abuse of the world weighing me down. I feel the pressure of never succeeding. I hear the world's deep quiet voice telling me to look down because i'l never make it but,

I look up.

I see you walking towards me head down and depression up, and all I have been taught to say is......Look up.

I know you don't understand and neither do I but this is why I try, because if I don't look up for myself no one else will.

So
I 

look

up.

A Letter To My Heart

I respect you I really do I just have a problem with the way you lead me.

 I know you pump blood for me and keep me living trust me I know, but why do you lead me astray? 

I just feel like you can't go a week without crushing on someone. 

Then you find someone and you can't stop leading me too them.

 You build a false since of interest that doesn't go away. 

The real problem here is I hate making mistakes.

 I'm not calling you a failure or a bad decision maker I'm just saying please take some consideration about how this may affect me.

 Everything I do and everything you make me say has a consequence and I'm so sick of being let down.....

I just don't know what's up with you lately.

 I don't want this to sound like a rant or a lecture I just want you to understand.

 I don't want to jump into something that will most likely turn into nothing. 

We're stuck together forever, so we might as well start listening to each other.

 So stop controlling my life. 
Let me decide if she's the one.

My Amazing Video

It's me.

I try to blend in at times
 I'm not sure why.
I try to stand out
 I'm not sure why.
I just want you to look at me!
Because guess what I'm real.
This pen name I'm hiding behind is more than just name,
I'm more than just a fake name.
Because when I walk into class, and you look down on me because I'm the Sophomore
I don't care.
Because you're the one reading my blog.
So enjoy it,
or don't.
Either way I don't care because I'm the writer and you're the reader,
so freaking read!






Yours truly Ryan Coon (The Sophomore)

Me being different.

When you have a really attractive sub.

My head.

I sit by my window looking out into the sky,

it isn't death that I fear its never having lived in the first place.

My head aches,

I'm short of breaths.

I breath.

In

out

the clouds pass by grouped together.

My phone buzzes.

I sit in silence.

I look back at my past,

why am I here?

My heart could stop at any second.

Have I impacted anyone's life?

Questions unanswered race through my mind,

I watch the clouds disappear.

I'm taken back to when I was in third grade

 sitting by my best friend Kayla,

Shes called to the office

shes moving.

She is saying her goodbyes

she turns to me,

says something I cant remember.

Something  along the lines of goodbye or miss me,

I reply with something I have wanted to take back my whole life

you never existed I say jokingly.

I receive the saddest look I've ever seen.

She takes her stuff and goes to the office

I never see her again,

I'm brought back to looking out the window

I blink,

a car drives by

I think about my parents in Arizona.

what if they never come back?

Would I miss them?

Who would I live with?

I blink.

I think about people with depression

 and why they cant just eat a bowl of ice cream and be fine.

I think about people with ADHD and why they can't just focus.

I think about how stupid phobias are

then I realize how much I would feakout if a spider was above me descending from its web

I look up

no spider,

my heart stops raising.

I think about the girl I saw in the halls and wonder why she was so sad.

I think about the girl that I thought looked cute and wonder why I didn't compliment her.

I think about.......

I cant say because now I'm focusing on blinking

and whats wrong with the people that blink 50 thousand times when they talk and never realize it,

or how some peoples nose moves when they talk.

I swallow.

My head stops hurting

I close my eyes,

and imagine 

how the world would be without me.

Then I realize it doesn't matter because I'm still alive and if the world doesn't like that than kill me,

because

I'm 

still

here.

Yep.

It 11:59 p.m. and I have spent more time blankly staring at my guppies then I've spent doing homework. Do I have a life?

From our point of view

I look around and I'm surrounded by sadness,

Its hard to accept that you're now part of this madness.

The world moves on while you suffer,

no one understands why you can't recover.

You start to feel alone,

you just wish that they would have known,

that you can only control your actions,

and no one knows what might be the reactions.

If you choose to take the same path as those before you,

how many will you affect if you go through?

Don't quit.

 Choose to stay and I guarantee you will benefit.

Don't lose hope,

we all have to go down the same slope.

Choose to stay,

we will always remember that day.

I thought about you.

I thought about you last night.
I thought about you when I was getting dressed,
I thought about you when I was tossing and turning,
I thought about you when I was at work,
I thought about you when I was dreaming,
I thought about you when I was writing,
I thought about you.
Then I smiled.

Your'e not a brick

I can make this post go one of two ways.

We are like bricks

or

We are not like bricks

Forget it, were not bricks.

Bricks are hard, solid, basic and worst of all bricks are so similar.

WE ARE NOT BRICKS

We are big, small, weak, strong and most of all we are unique.

You can't call me a brick I'm not even square.

I just want.

I just want to be that guy,

I forget that it only happens to people that try,

I just want to be unique,

but would that make me antique?

I just want to be fun,

bright, cheery like the sun,

I just want to be the cool kid,

like sort of off the grid,

I just want, 

Idk.

Her

To the girl I never thought I would meet,

to the girl that makes every one's day better,

to the girl that can make my veins white and my heart cold, 

to the girl that makes me want to go to school everyday,

to the girl who showed me love is a language,

to the girl who made me call cupid, 

to the girl who will read this and not think its cheesy,

to the girl who I've wanted to kiss since I first met her,
to the girl that defines the word beautiful,

to the girl who showed me love isn't just about holding hands and kissing,

to the girl that makes my cheeks hurt whenever I am with her,

to the girl that inspired me to write this,

to Her.

Stop being so Damn self centered

• The selfie: One of the most common ways of saying yes, I need attention.

• Interruptions: What I have to say is way more important, so i'm going to interrupt your story.

• Sweet slaps: I want to insult you, but I cant seem rude, so i'll say something mean in a complimentary way.

• Media: Guess what nobody cares what your wearing they just like your photo to be on your friends list.

• Instagram: Yes, please post a quote that has nothing to do with your duck face.

• Conversations: Did you know conversations are two sided? Or that LISTENING requires not thinking about yourself? 

• You: Your great but not that great. Lets be real here.

The world doesn't revolve around you.

What does it matter?

Some people

think

we are robots.

Going through life.

Repeating.

Over, and over.

Get up, get ready, 

go to work, come home, sleep.

Get up, get ready, 

go to work, come home, sleep.

Get up, get ready, 

go to work, come home, sleep.

What does it matter?

 What happens in between sets us apart.

So what do you do in between?

Little kids

If you could describe your childhood in one word what would it be?

Free. 

No responsibility, no consequences and no stress. At the time everyone was your friend, showers were a waste of time and nap-time was our arch nemesis. Coloring was the only way to really focus on anything.

The question I want answered is WHAT HAPPENED? Why did crayons and Play-Doh become only a kids thing? Why did the coloring have to end? But did it really end? I don't think so. If you ask me all they did was disguise it to look more grown up and mature. Think about it. Crayons were replaced with paintbrushes, Play-Doh with molding clay, and even juice boxes with Gatorade. Our childhood never really ended it was merely disguised or transformed to look more appropriate. We will always be little kids.

"Men must know their limitations."- Clint Eastwood

This I Believe

I believe in limitations.  That doesn't mean that I quit things, but it does mean that I know when enough is enough.  As everybody knows there are specific universal laws that you cannot overcome such as the law of gravity, the fact that humans can’t sprout wings and fly just because they want to, and of course  death.  You can’t defy those laws, but you can stretch them.  Limitations can be stretched or changed but never removed.  Let me be more specific to me.

When I was fourteen I was riding my motorcycle with my Dad.  I have been riding a dirt bike since I was seven years old and I know I am confident in my riding ability to control my bike.  This trip we decided to go up the canyon and our ride was getting close to over.  As we neared the exit of the trail I started to race my dad. This is typical in our rides. As I neared him he sped up so I did the same.  By doing this I burst my comfort zone and passed my limit of a safe speed.  By increasing my speed and leaving my comfort zone behind my reaction time wasn't there.  As you can imagine I crashed.  This was not my first crash but this one defiantly left its mark.  Besides the normal cuts and bruises I busted open my foot.  My foot was hurting and there was blood when I took off my boot.  Its not normal to bleed when you have great riding boots that can take a beating, but other than that I wasn't worried about it too much.  It was getting dark and my bike was fine so we rode home.  My Dad was more worried than I was and suggested we go to the hospital just to get it checked out.

What happened next I was not prepared for.  After a botched surgery I had major limitations for the whole summer.  Meaning no swimming, quitting my baseball team, missing out on trek, quitting my summer job, no dirt bike riding, and crutches the whole summer.  During my recovery time I had a lot of time to think about what had happened and what I could have done differently. 

How would setting limitations have changed the outcome? How many things do we need limitations for?  Why do limitations need to be made?  Setting limitations does not mean you are boring or not adventurous. Everyone has different limitations for different things.   What I learned that summer was that if I wanted to continue having an awesome life and feeling free to do the things I enjoyed I needed to set some limitations.  Who would have thought that limitations could be freeing?  I now know that in order to keep dirt bike riding fun and safe I need to set my own limitations when I ride.   Sometimes breaking your comfort zone is not a good thing.  Set limitations.  Know when to quit.  We all will learn eventually.  I already did.

Intro

My life is just a spec on a endless timeline. What does that mean?  Here's another question, what do you have to offer this world? What is your life about? Why are you here? Do you have a future? I wouldn't know because I'm me and not you. Why am I asking the questions, you're the reader? How can you figure out someone that only asks question about YOU? Consider that next time you talk to someone. Maybe they don't want to hear about your life because after all they aren't you. I'm not harsh I'm the third person. The mirror. How can I see me myself when all I see is your reflection? I create a bubble that only I can pop. Always afraid of LABELS. Can you really label a person you can't understand? Its called listening. Try it sometime, and when you do you will know me. You can't cast judgments until you hear me. Can you really though? Have you lived my life? Put on my shoes and walked around. What does it matter I'm just a spec.